Dare 13

Love Fights Fair

As the book state, disagreements are inevitable in relationships - all relationships, and regardless if you are married or not, fighting fair is the only way to make sure the relationship stays intact.  Couples who learn to work through conflict tend to be closer, more trusting, more intimate and enjoy a much deeper connection.

This whole concept make sense to me, but I’m not a fighter.  As I look back over my past relationships I can not recall any fights.  I remember one time this man I was dating was really trying to get me to argue with him and I let him know I don’t fight because it doesn’t accomplishes anything.

And we never fought in my marriage either.  The only thing I remember when we were getting divorced, I flew off the handle when I discover that when he move out he took the can opener, how was I supposed to feed the cats!?  This was before the easy open cans of today.  Anyway – I made a scene in a social setting, more to make my point than to fight, but afterwards I didn’t feel any kind of satisfaction.  However, my sister told me she thought it was about time I started fighting, but that was the only time it happened, and it really wasn’t a fight because it takes 2 to fight.

I’m just not a fighter – maybe it’s because I saw my Mom & step father fight a lot when I was growing up and it never made sense to me, but then again I always wonder why everyone can’t just get along.  Maybe I’m a flower child at heart.

The book says fighting fair means changing our weapons, setting boundaries that both agree to beforehand and disagreeing with dignity.

Make sense to me.  If I need to apply these things in my next relationship I will.

Until next time…